Monday, 26 May 2014

Sum up my thoughts.

It's funny how people wanted me to stay the way I was a few years back. They failed to realize that everybody changes, changes with time, changes because of pain. Everybody change for a reason or another. Me too, I can't stay as that kid, who always please others, make others happy, even when I hated the thing they made me do. I need my own voice, everybody deserve theirs own voice and for them to sound out theirs opinion. Then why can't I? I'm merely a 13 going-to-be-14 year old teenage. No. everybody deserve to have theirs own voice and opinion, regardless of your age. 
I changed, yes, I got to admit that. But what and who made me change to the person I am now? I am happy with the person I'm being now, I believe that now, I speak my mind out freely, even if it hurts the people around me, but let's just say that truth hurts, and if it hurts, what I said was true. 
I changed over the years, because my maturity and mindset changes, my opinion on certain things will change as time goes by, and when I realize the in-depth of the story, that's also when my opinion change.
So don't expect me to stay the same way as I was when I was 10 or maybe even last year till now, things changes, mindset changes, attitude changes, everything changes. Changes are the only constant thing in life. If you don't adapt to the changes fast enough, there you go. You are doomed. 
I would like to believe that I am no long that people pleaser, I need to be happy myself, that sounded really selfish, but somebody told me, if I want to be happy, I need to be happy with who I am, but not go around and please people, because that way, I make people happy, but I'm not happy that way.

Today, I walked around before going home, there was a path, a path where you and I used to walk home together, we would stop at the busstop 3 stops away from my house, and walk together, walking towards each and every busstop we are suppose to drop at, I miss that shit, I walk that path with earpiece on, alone. It used to be me and you, without earpiece, hand-in-hand. I got myself that drink, I stop drinking ever since that incident happened, and you were no longer by my side, and took a sip, a sense of freedom, it tasted different, unlike the taste I used to taste, it tasted bitter, unlike previously which tasted sweet. I guess it's because I drank it alone... I missed you baby. But I like it that way, I wouldn't want it to be us fighting all over again, I rather see you from far, silently... 

Kayla